A Mother’s Comfort

I can be sound asleep and the softest whimper can revive me in an instant. The dreams quickly fading back into the darkness. I wait and listen for the sobbing to subside. Now that she’s much older, most nights, her crying stops and I can drift back to sleep. This time the soft cries linger and I can hear the squeaking springs of her bed give way as she slowly rises up. It’s pitch black. I can barely see her silhouette. Her hands are grasped tightly on the side of the crib, but she’s only half standing. My motherly intuition kicks in and immediately reach for her.

One of the fondest memories I have of my mom is her hugging me this way. I don’t know what led to that moment. I just remember sitting at the foot of our staircase, crying uncontrollably. My mom had tried her best to ignore me as she bustled around the house getting ready to leave for work. I know I did something wrong but also felt like my voice wasn’t being heard. I started to choke back double sobs after crying so long and so intense. Eventually  and I remember her reaching down to hug me and whispering words to soothe me. This was a rare moment between us. I still remember the sense of relief wash over me buried in her embrace. My heart ached because I wish I could hold onto the moment forever. But I felt it was selfish of me to ask that much from her and so instead I replay the scene in my head to bring me that peace.

I never want my daughter to feel that these moments are rare. I want her to be able to run to me and seek shelter in my embrace. So at 5am, I patiently her from her bed and hug her tight. I whisper comforting works in her ear as I rub and pat her back. I want her to know that I always will be there for her. I want her to go through life knowing she’s not alone. I will always be there for her.